So What is a Dating Club Anyway?

I have been writing about relationships, dating and romance for a while now and I frequently encounter the term “Dating Club”.  I found it used even more frequently in recent months and I just couldn’t quite get what the difference was between a regular dating website and a dating club.

After a little research I began to see a pattern of differences, which although not dramatic, will impact both how you use the service, and what kind of outcome you get from it.

At first I thought that the differences might be in platform, services or process and in a sense there are some, but the main difference is around purpose.  Let’s take a step back and look at the big picture for a minute.

Online dating sites can be divided into general and niche.  The niche dating sites focus on a specific demographic, situation, preference or whatever.  These niche sites on the surface look very similar to a dating club.  As a matter of fact they look so much like a dating club that some niche online dating services started calling themselves dating clubs in error and causing much of the confusion.

A dating club relieves the pressure of dating.  Granted, there are like minded people there for a purpose, but they kind of just mingle and mill about and stroll around, to use physical world analogies.  There is no rigorous process to contact someone or anything like that.  They resemble more the social dating sites we currently have popping up into the scene.

Another factor is that they typically are geographically focused.  Hence you would find the Christian Dating Club of Chicago, versus just a general “all over the world” Christian dating club.  In a dating club you can take the “milling around” into the physical world and sometimes they have local events and such.  The best way to put it is that it’s a cross between a niche online dating site, and a local dating service agency.

I hope I helped clarify, if not, you can find more articles and commentary at OnlineDatingVille.com

PUA Banter

If you are new to the pick up community, you may not have heard of ‘banter lines‘.  What they are are witty, flirtatious lines that are used to flirt with a girl.  You may be under the impression that things like ‘wit’ and ‘flirtatiousness’ are qualities that may be things that you need to be born with, but I can assure you that they are not.  Just like a comedian gets good by practicing delivery, so to can ‘wit’ and ‘flirtatiousness’ be developed by consistent practice.

Traditionally, pick up lines have been considered cheesy crutches that desperate men use to meet women.  The fact of the matter is that when it comes to starting a conversation, it doesn’t really matter what you say.  What is ten times more important than what is said is what is behind the words.  Things like confidence, timing, tonality and body language are much, much more important.  If you are going to memorize and reuse lines, banter lines are the things you are going to want to practice.

Once most beginners push past their fears of approaching women, the next sticking point most guys run into is having a hard time finding things to say.  As I said before, its not so important what is said, as how things are said.  Banter lines can be thrown into a conversation just about anywhere and will immediately change the tone of the interaction.  Once a flirtatious element has been introduced into the conversation, just about anything that is said afterwards will take on a slightly different meaning.

If you are looking to get good at witty banter, you need to learn how deliver lines with good timing, good tonality as well as with the right inflection.  You are looking for a slightly arrogant and sarcastic tone to what you are saying.  In order to learn the right mix, using the same line over and over again is almost a necessity.  This will allow you the ability to tinker with the delivery until you find that you are consistently getting the type of reaction you are looking for.

Be aware that a when you begin to deliver some of these lines the way they are ment to be delivered, you may begin to recieve sarcastic or seemingly hostile responces.  This can be a good thing as the woman is choosing to play back with you.  I say this because many guys who get all wrapped up in things like delivery and what they are supposed to be doing in an interaction often forget that communication is a two way street and paying attention to what is going on around you are just as important as the things you are doing to pick up the girl!

If you are interested in more information about how to deliver banter lines, what they are as well as some actual lines to remember, check out this ezine article on banter lines.